Preparing for the worst hangover of my life

Yes. I know it’s coming. Am I sprinting in the opposite direction? Absolutely not. Not this time. I am stocking up on water bottles, electrolytes, and still trying to conjure a blackout method for my windows. Why would someone put themselves (mostly their liver) through this premeditated torture? Let me rephrase that, why would a mid 20’s yr old, who believes her prime drinking days are a thing of the past, sign up for this? I’ll tell you why my little birds.. Fasching is finally here.

I missed Germany’s biggest shitshow last year ( pardon my French, I giggle at the excitement and can’t think of any other way to put it) and now I am front row and center in what is said to be one of the countries biggest celebrating cities. Köln, Münich & Mainz are flocked to by the thousands for just short of a week of pure unadulterated fun.

A little history on this historical event. Fasching is the term Germany & Austria use. Carnival is what Brazil celebrates, Carnevale is the masked party in Venice, and America has coined the term Mardi Gra. All three share the same qualities, each adding their own spin. The culminate on Ash Wednesday and represent the debauchery that is allowed before the fasting season.

Tomorrow is the Thursday before Ash Wednesday, and officially kicks off the party. Ladies, this is our day. According to tradition, women walk the streets and any man that is wearing a tie is susceptible to having it chopped off followed by a surprise kiss. Odd, but I’ve never cut off a mans tie so I’m in!

The next big day is Rosenmontag (March 3rd) and this is why I am preparing. Mainz is famous for hosting the largest parade in the area on this day, and it has been broadcasted live throughout the country since 1910! The floats have a unusual reputation for being predominantly politically themed and humorously mocking literary figures and politicians. This started back when the locals would mock the French troops occupying the city back in the 19th century. The Mainz Carnival Association also known as the MCV is a council made up of eleven elected members. This council wears the famous colors depicted all over the city. Red, white, blue & yellow are also found on the carnival guard, who are known for spoofing military uniforms to look like jokers. I’ve seen a few cute old German men around the city sporting these dashing outfits 😉

Starting at 9 am the drinking ensues. Pedestrians are known to walk the streets with the parade drinking and riding the floats. The only thing I can compare this to is the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade back in the states, but perhaps a tad more vulgar.

Shrove Tuesday follows as the region holds masked balls and is followed by a quiet Ash Wednesday that symbolizes that the debauchery has come to an end.

So my darling readers, if I am absent from this blog ( which I plan to be) it means I am out in the masses having too much damn fun. My internet is snail pace due to the influx of people on the servers, my water pressure is weak, and the incoming traffic makes me want to buy a motorcycle. But don’t fret! I will be back to show you in full detail ( the good and the bad ) how this entire event unfolds in hope that you make it out here and see it for yourselves one day.

Are you ready for this… Here we go. Fasching 2014.

Oh and I work Tuesday morning. That should be fun. This is what my future looks like..